Waiting for Boaz

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Written by –  Kim Johnson – immysister.org

Too often we women accept bad behavior from men. I’ve been thinking about this topic lately. Why do we do it? Why do we accept infidelity, disrespect, verbal abuse, disloyalty, lies, deceit and just plain old cheating? Why do we stay in relationships that are unhealthy for us, or where we are doing the chasing and pursuing of men, instead of the other way around? Could it be, that we don’t know our self-worth or value?

I tell you, since I have finally taken the time to stop doing me, and I am now listening to my Father in heaven; I have a better understanding of who I am in Christ and what He wants and desires for me and my life. Trust me, by no means that doesn’t include me being treated poorly. Shoot! I am no slouch. No vagabond without a home, and nobody’s trash to be discarded; I am a Princess, a child of the Greatest King of Kings. And as such, I MUST be treated like royalty.

Sisters, too often we forget what family we belong to, and whose we are in Christ. We stay in relationships that we were never meant to be in, in the first place. The thing is this, if we want a different result, we must wait on the Lord to send us the man of His choosing. I know without a shadow of a doubt that, that man will be the perfect mate for us and we will be treated like the queens we are meant to be treated like.
When I think of that perfect man, I think of the book of Ruth in the bible, and how Ruth met Boaz. Basically, the story of Ruth teaches us the value of trusting God with our circumstances and our future. And that obedience always brings blessings which in this particular case, was Boaz, who was the perfect man for Ruth (Ruth 3:10).

I find, my sisters, that when we keep our eyes on God and focus on Him, we tend to not end up with second best and the wrong mate. I guess what I have been trying to say throughout this blog is, we have to exercise discipline with matters of the heart and our bodies. We have to treat ourselves like royalty. And above all else, wait on the Lord to send us the man that He chooses for us.

Sistah do you hear me? How are you treating yourself?

 

Intimacy

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Written by – Kim Johnson-  Author of I Am My Sister (Women helping Women) @ immysister.org

It seems that the older I get, the more I understand the difference between sex and intimacy. I think that intimacy is more valuable in a relationship then sex. Hold up! Before you start thinking I’m nuts; YES, sex is important in a relationship, but if you want to see that relationship go to another level, add intimacy in the mix.
I was reading this book called Soul Cravings the other day, and the author sort of put what I was thinking into words; he said, “sex can be the most intimate and beautiful expression of love, but we are only lying to ourselves when we act as if sex is proof of love. Too many men demand sex as proof of love; too many women have given sex in hopes of love. We live in a world of users where we abuse each other to dull the pain of aloneness.”
“Real intimacy is not found just by merging bodies in sex. When Jesus said, “and the two shall become one. . . “I can’t help but think that He meant more than just the physical. After all, how many couples go to bed at night, share their bodies, but not their hearts? Undoubtedly, many of these people would say they are very lonely. Why? Because just as a garden hose is not the source of water, but only an expression, or vehicle for it, so sex is not the source of intimacy, but an outlet (or expression of) it. No matter how hard you try, if real emotional and spiritual intimacy does not exist before sex, it most certainly won’t after.”
So then you say, Kim, what is intimacy? To me, intimacy is a simple touch, a gentle caress, looking into each other’s eyes, connecting mentally, passionately kissing, loving words and touch, etc.
“Granted, sharing who we are with others is often not easy. All love is a risk. I admit, it can be uncomfortable exposing the deepest parts of ourselves. Thankfully, you don’t have to do it all at once, because developing intimacy is like peeling an onion—it can happen just a little at a time while trust is developed” (McManus).

Sistah to Sistah do you hear me? What do you think?

References
McManus, E. R. (2006). Soul Cravings. Thomas Nelson.

 

Rejection and Rejected

pexels-photo-594421.jpegWritten by – Kim Johnson – immysister.org

I think…rejection is one of those emotions that can destroy you if you aren’t grounded in something. I’ve been thinking about this topic for a while now, especially since I have firsthand knowledge and experience on the subject; as well as, knowing quite a few people struggling just to hold it together themselves. I actually took the time to look up the meaning of rejection and rejected, just to see if the dictionary could explain why, we as people, feel so terrible when we go through these emotions. According to the Merriam Webster dictionary “rejected is to refuse to hear, receive, admit, rebuff or repel something; and rejection, is the spurning of a person’s affections”. After reading these two definitions, I came to the conclusion that rejection and being rejected all boil down to, heartache, pain, sorrow and long endless nights (well, at least in my mind).

For instance, when I went through the devastating break-up of my marriage, I thought the world had come to an end. I surely knew, I was going to die, and at worst, wanted to. I have to tell you, heartache is a real reality; the heart literally hurts. I felt so sad during that time, that I could hardly feel happiness, even when I was surrounded by happy people, places and things. And to compound the situation even further, I felt terribly rejected and unwanted. I remember, one day, screaming out to the Lord to help me; true to His Word, He did, and my breakthrough came.

The thing is this, rejection destroys lives, confidence and self-worth. The amount of people going through it is staggering. As for me, having God and my sister/friends in my life during that time, kept me grounded and brought me through my storm.
My sisters prayed with me, and for me when I couldn’t pray for myself. My sisters called me and even sat with me. They hugged me and loved me back to a good place.

Likewise, God’s Word helped me too, I read the bible over and over again. My spirit man became so comforted that I yearned to hear more and more of what God had to say to me. I read verses like, Romans 8:28 (and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose); and Isaiah 41:10 (Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand) to name a few.

The thing is this my sisters, you have to know that God is with you, and that you can get through rejection and being rejected. Don’t look at the feeling you are feeling, look at God’s Words, and trust Him, because He never lies. Call on the Lord for help and reach out for help.

Sistah to Sistah can you hear me!
What are you going through?

By Kim Johnson

 

When the Marriage Ends

divorce-separation-marriage-breakup-split-39483.jpegWritten by – Kim Johnson – Author of  I Am My Sister (Women helping Women) @ immysister.org

Sometimes when the marriage ends, we are the last to know. There are signs, but sometimes we ignore them or don’t see them. At least that was the case with me.

The end of a marriage can be one of the most painful experiences any one can go through, but having God in your life, family and friends can help you get through it. When my marriage ended after 20 years, it took me six years to recover. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t have wasted that many years crying and in pain.

Any how, I thank God everyday that my sisters were there for me; praying when I was unable to pray for myself, encouraging me and supporting me.

So sisters, when  you find yourselves going through a bad experience, just know that you can make it. You will, and can survive. This is a storm that you are in, and at the end of the storm, God will give you double for your trouble. Storms are sent to make us stronger.

Pastor Joel Osteen, always say’s , “we learn more while we are in our storms then when we are in our sunny seasons. Storms come, but the sun always comes out at the end.”

Sistah to Sistah, do you  hear me! What are you going through?

Being a Caregiver

IMG_4965.jpgWritten by – Kim Johnson – immysister.org

Being a caregiver can be a very rewarding experience; it can also be very draining. As a child growing up, I  promised my parents and grandparents that I would take care of them when they grew old; little did I know, that promise would become my reality, sooner than later.  My grandfather came to live with me thirteen years ago and I felt it was an honor and a privilege.  Don’t get me wrong, the experience was not easy, in fact, at times, it was extremely rough, and sometimes I wondered if I had the way with all, to handle the task that God had given me at all.  But through it all, I can honestly say, I am both grateful and humbled.  I pray that as Grandpa looks down on me, he knows that I gave my all and that I did my best.

Which brings me to my next thought. I want to take my hat off to all the caregivers out there, I want them to know they are not alone.  Although the road can get rocky and rough, know that God is with you.  According to the bible, Hebrews 6:10, “God never forgets what you do in obedience to Him.  In fact, one day you will stand before Christ and be rewarded for all the things you have done out of love and obedience to Him” (Charles Stanley, p. 1459).

The wisdom that I would give to you my sisters, is don’t forget to support the caregivers that you know, because they may be going through a host of emotions and just being a listening ear, can really help.

Sistah to Sistah, what do you think?

Immysister.org

 

All Eyes on God

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Written by – Kim Johnson – Author of – I Am My Sister @ immysister.org

For the majority of my life, I have lived life on my own terms, I guess you could say, living La Vida Loca (the crazy life); doing what I want, when I wanted. Then September 11th happened and God got my attention. One of the things I can honestly say is, life is better than it was before.  When problems come, I talk with God about them.  Sometimes when I bring a problem to God He solves them immediately, it’s like, from my mouth, to His ears, that’s how fast He solves them.

Basically, what I am saying to you is, no matter what you are going through sisters, keep your eyes on God.  Talk to God when you are going through adversity, when you are happy, when you are sad, when you need direction, when you are lonely, when you are sick, having financial problems, when you are insecure, when you make a mistake, when you are confused, when you are angry, going through broken relationships, when you are treated unfairly, when you lose a loved one, when you are rejected, and above all, most importantly, talk to God in All situations, and He will make everything alright again.

“Praise the Lord often, regardless of your circumstances.  Many people exalt Him only when something good happens to them or when they receive an unexpected blessing, but the Lord is worthy of our adoration at all times, in all circumstances” (Charles Stanley bible, Is. 25:1, p.800).

Sistah to Sistah do you hear me! What are you going through?

Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord, we have an everlasting Rock (Isaiah 26:4).

Looking Good

pexels-photo-925284.jpegWritten by – Kim Johnson – Author of I Am My Sister (Women helping Women) @ immysister.org

As a little girl growing up in an urban area during the sixties and seventies, I never thought much about my looks or my appearance. My girlfriends and I wore dungaree’s every day and black eyeliner.  We were carefree, and happy.  We focused our energy on dancing, singing and fantasizing about what our wedding day would be like when we grew up.

My first introduction into my appearance and what I looked like, came when I began dating.  My then, boyfriend, hated the way I dressed, especially my dungarees, so he took me shopping; he actually purchased my first girly outfit. Since then, I have been conscious of what I look like.  When I look back at that little girl, I wonder if that experience shaped my view of myself as an adult.

Recently, I spoke with a male friend of mine about looking good, and he told me that women have to fix themselves up to look the best that they can, because men are attracted to what a woman looks like initially.

I say, women need to look the way they want to look; and that it shouldn’t matter what we wear, or for that matter, not wear, for men to be attracted to us. I guess, what I actually mean is, as women, we need to be happy with ourselves.  We need to have that self confidence that comes from within us. That knowledge that, we are wonderfully made, and that God created us to look the way we look. We were made by God, and He did not make any mistakes. We shouldn’t have to dress a certain way or change our appearances in order to please the men in our lives.

Sistah to Sistah, do you hear me! What do you think?

 

 

Love

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Written by Kim Johnson, Author of “I Am My Sister” (Women helping Women) @ immysister.org

I have often wondered if relationships last longer when the man loves the women more than the woman loves the man.  I have been told that women who treat their men like crap, are the women that seem to have forever relationships. I am not too sure which way is better.  As for me, I tend to give 100% of myself in a relationship.  I try to build my man up and help him to be the best that he can be, but in turn, I expect the same consideration. Has this always worked for me, no! but, I believe that when the right man finds me, it will.

Sistah to Sistah, what do you think, should we give less of ourselves in a relationship?

He who finds a women finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22).