Madison’s Absence is Loud

Written by Kim Johnson

My Maddie was blind, deaf and had hind leg pain. I watched her struggle and howl every time I left the house. It became so bad, that I never wanted to leave the house or her. I never wanted to see her in such pain. The doctors prescribed pain medication and I gave it to her until it stopped working. But what was confusing was, the days when she would run and play.

I thought, I prayed, that somehow she would miraculously, at least, feel better despite her blindness. I realized I was holding on to my Maddie for me. Was I being fair, was I being heartless, what was Maddie thinking.

I sat with her at the vet, when the doctor gave her the injection to relax and then watched and prayed out loud with her, as she was given the second injection that made her heart stop.

Today, that day, seems so loud…..

The loudness of her death and my part in it brings tears to my heart.

I miss you Madison, but you are with God and I know you are chasing squirrels and playing with Ashlee and Astro your sister and nephew.