Written by Kim Johnson

I have been close with my mother-in-law since I was 16 years old and I am in my sixties right now. Even when my husband and I divorced we remained close. A few years ago my mother in law started loosing her memory, but she never forgot me, in fact, she thought her son and I were still married, which is a whole other story.

Anyhow, as my mother-in-law began loosing her memory, she started feeling afraid that once she died her son’s new wife was going to inherit her life’s savings if her son should die. You see, a lot of elderly people from her generation, that grew up black and poor from the south, came north to work, believing they would live a better life during the 50’s and 60’s. They acquired a great deal of wealth through their hard work and wanted to leave their possessions to their children. But her fear was that her son was a weak man and would give it all away.

As time went on, my ex husband started having an affair with another woman and his wife left him. And as my mother in laws memory deteriorated he eventually placed her in a nursing home near me. I loved that my mother-in -law was near me because I was able to visit her and keep an eye out for her daily.

Fast forward, I don’t know if it was the girlfriend or the ex husband that got jealous of me visiting my mom every day, but it got so unbearable that I walked away for awhile just so I could have peace. I eventually came back, but when I did, she was so beaten up looking, neglected and sick. Thank God my mother-in-law made me her Health Care Proxy before she lost her mind, because I was able to step in when the nursing home took her to the hospital and make decisions for her care.

When my mother-in-law saw me, she cried. She was so happy to see me and told me “I can’t believe my life turned out like this.” I felt so sad hearing that, because her life should not have ever turned out like it did. My mother-in-law was a very generous, loving, well dressed diva. She liked the finest of the finest in clothes and everything she touched. My mother-in-law should have never ended up in a nursing home neglected and mistreated.

Anyhow, I miss you mom and I’ll see you again, in heaven.

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